Changes

I am happy to say that I am still on a creative roll. I have recently finished my fourth oil painting (portrait) and hope to start a fifth in the next day or two. I am really enjoying painting again, and every time I paint it seems to get better. Lots of creative ideas are flowing. Just the other day I wrote a short children's book for my soon to be 6 year old son. I am in the process of creating some simple water color illustrations for the book. When that's done, I plan to turn it into a book with the oh-so-convenient book maker on my mac. I recently created a nice photo book with the program to give away for Christmas. I am slowly getting to know what my mac can do. It's pretty awesome.

Speaking of creativity and feeling pretty good these days I have had the urge to make some minor changes in my appearance. Nothing that involves a scalpel, I promise. Just a bit of freshening up to give me the little pick me up that turning 41 has made me feel like I need. Hello new hair cut and new eye color (via contacts of course). Now if I could just lose that weight......

On a Roll

Lately I am just buzzing with creativity when it comes to my painting. As always I am interested in adding something dark and twisty to my paintings. I am painting portraits of women now and of course had to include myself in my third one on the weekend. In this image I have severe bed head, an old shirt, and I am knitting in a corner of my bed. On my shoulder is perched a black crow. I find the crow a perfect symbol for dark thoughts, as crows have been associated with evil things that lurk in dark corners of the mind. After that painting I had another revelation. As I like to paint lonliness and depression (go figure), I thought one way to add a small twist of humour was to have the symbol of darkness doing something fun or interesting. Anyone familiar with the painter Hans Holbein (painter to King Henry VIII) may be familiar with his series of woodcuts entitled "Dances of Death". In each image we see a skeleton representing death leading some hapless victim towards their maker. I am going to include small elements of some of these images in my paintings. I'll have to wait and see if it works.

Another Lightbulb Moment

If any of you are familiar with the book "The Artist's Way" or the sequel " The Vein of Gold", you'll know that it is a great resource for artists. I did the Artist's way almost 9 years ago after several failed attempts. I say failed attempts because the book requires that you do a lot of exercises and soul searching. I tried a few times but found it all too much . Finally I got through it. After that I left a terrible relationship, had my first solo exhibit, and started painting regularly and taking jewellery design courses. It was like the damn had been opened once I cleared away all the clutter. Well, I have started for the 4th time "The Vein of Gold". Some of the exercises are emotionally painful to do, but go a long way towards understanding yourself and clearing away that clutter. Recently I found myself bogged down in regrets, people from the past, toxic work relationships, and other equally instrusive negative thoughts and emotions. A couple of weeks ago I was sitting at this very computer and my mind was racing with thoughts. Suddenly I sat there and said to myself, all of these thoughts are taking up space and energy in my brain. I don't have the time or the energy for this, it is all so draining. I need to just get rid of this stuff . I literally visualized myself sweeping people, emotions and thoughts away into a corner. I suddenly felt as if I was lighter. I am serious when I say that within several minutes I had several creative ideas pop into my head. I was giddy. This really worked! I think I was ready however, ready to move on and get back to what mattered, my family and my art. I wasn't ready before. And there's the thing. You have to be ready.

When stress is a good thing

No one likes to be depressed, upset, or generally stressed out. However, as an artist there is sometimes an upside to this. I get some of my best ideas for artwork when I am in my "dark place". Perhaps it's because the emotional part of my brain is active, which also happens to be where the artist in me lives. However, my art that is created in this mindset is usually not bright and sunny. It generally reflects my mood. Feelings of depression have plagued me over the past few months as my oldest son graduated high school and has started the next chapter of his life. I really miss him. I think these feelings have influenced my latest round of work, which is painting portraits of women who have experienced their own issues as a result of depression. One of my portraits is actually of myself. I am also painting the daughter of a friend who has been struggling with depression. So, while I certainly don't like being stressed out or sad, I can see that there is a silver lining in every cloud for me.

Fighting with Technology

The thing about technology is that it's great when it works. I had the bright idea of printing out some images I created onto cotton transfer sheets designed for the printer. Well, I don't know what printer they were designed for, but it certainly wasn't mine. I have been cancelling print jobs and trying to yank stuck cotton on paper out of my printer all day. So much for doing a little bit of art quilting tonight. My printer had other ideas. I would be surprised if it still worked tomorrow. I guess it's back to the drawing board. I had better luck transferring on silk a few months ago, but Michaels no longer carries those printer sheets. Time to take a deeeeep breath!

Having a Thick Skin

One thing you must have when painting portraits is a thick skin. I think mine is only half way there. Everyone will have an opinion about a portrait, especially the people you painted and their family members. The bottom line is that everyone wants a painting to be a photograph. My answer is, if you want a photograph, then take a picture! Still, it's hard to ignore the hushed whispers of "there's something not right about the eyes", or "well, the hair looks good." . It's not that people are purposely trying to burst your bubble. They just can't help themselves. I forgot about how upsetting it can be when you paint portraits, because you are subjected to criticism like no other kind of painting (except maybe abstract, but that's for another blog). It is hard to ignore. You have to be tough and be able to take it. I experienced it today, and felt like throwing the painting in the fire or scraping the oil right off the canvas and starting again. I need to get over this if I am going to continue my series of painting women and children. I'll let you know how that goes. ;)

One down, many to go

Last night I just about finished an oil painting of a child. I'm pretty happy with how it turned out, although I'll have to wait a few days for it to dry before I can do a couple of touch ups. I had forgotten how dirty painting with oil can be. On a more exciting note, my copy of A Needle Pulling Thread magazine arrived yesterday. It was quite thick this time, and I was thrilled with how the cardinal project I designed turned out. The magazine did a great job with the layout. It's always really exciting to see yourself in print. Now I will have to go out and buy copies for family members! It's the third time I have been published, and I hope it won't be the last.